It has been a few days since I have posted anything. Sorry about that! We are still doing our family consecration, which has been very enlightening and we can see the fruits of our endeavors very much. For one big thing, we are up to 4 decades of the famiy Holy Rosary. every. single. night.!!! I am extremely grateful for this, since for years, I have wanted and wanted to encorporate the Rosary into our nightly prayers but could not figure out a way with all our little ones. Granted, it is not easy. Many nights, we are reminding them, (ever so gently and mercifully!!)! to be quiet and to focus and not lay down. It is a struggle but one that we know is worth our every effort.
As we all may know, with every part of spiritual growth, there is going to be attack by the evil one. How is he doing this, you may ask? I think in many ways! But one is very apparent to me. This nasty one is disturbing my early morning sleep and rising.
I set my alarm to wake up around 5:30am. I am not a morning person, let me tell you. It takes every effort and action of my will, to actually sit up and then get out of bed. If I lay down, I will surely fall back to sleep. I get up early to get my prayers, meditation and the consecration prayer in. Usually my hubby is kissing me goodbye as he is a morning person!!! He wakes up usually without! an alarm, showers and is out the door by 5:30am. It still shocks me how different we are. I guess opposites do attract!!!
And then, I focus on one thing alone. My coffee to start brewing. I cannot forget my coffee!
Once out of bed, I painstakingly walk down the hall, close the children's doors and then get my coffee going. All the while, being very very quiet. I know, as any mother does, if I step on the wrong part of the floor to make that extra loud squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeak, that inevitably one of my little ones will wake up.
WHy is it a shocker to me that there will be at least one child up within 5 minutes of my waking?!?! But it does and I am not happy about it. I am really not happy when they whine or complain about me reacting to them being up so early.
My lil baby who is almost 2 wants to play baseball and I cannot even open my eyes! I know I will want these early mornings when they are grown. I know I should cherish them now. I know time flies. I know life goes by in a blink. I know these things, but yet...I growl.
How can these little ones do that?
It is totally pitch dark at that hour of the morning! Why would they want to get up? I guess that maybe some of my kids have my husband's genes of early morning risers. One child, is for sure, my first one. At even 2 yrs old, he would rise at 4:30-5am. I am not kidding!!! It was a hard thing to learn being a first time mom. At least at this age, he 'sleeps in' a little more than 5am but he just does not need lots of sleep. It does not matter what time he goes to sleep, he still rises very very early. Now my baby who will be 2 (at the end of THIS month!!!) is waking up early and whining and yelling my name at that nasty early hour right after I rise.
And I am here to deal with it. Not my hubby who is the morning person... but me.
This has gotten harder for me since we started our consecration and I just know who and what is behind all this. WHat a hard thing to listen to when I have not even had a sip of my coffee yet! argh. That evil one knows my weak points, he knows how tough it is for me and he tries to get me first thing in the morning. Precisely the time I want and need to spend with our Lord Jesus Christ!!! The evil knows the graces I need and desire.
I know that there is such good to come out of our family consecration b/c the nasty one is trying hard to sway us, tempt us, make us loose our peace. But I'll have nothing to do with it. I keep trugging along and repeat to myself and to Our Lord and to Mary that nothing will tear us apart. Not the constant early wake ups that drive me nuts. Yes, I fall and I get upset and visually not very appealing. Good thing for CONFESSION!!!
So, why am I telling you all this?
Why am I rambling on and on about this?
I am not sure! Haa haa! It is so early and I have been up with my coffee and 4 kids for a while and it is ONLY 6:15am! I gess I needed to vent a little bit!
This constant waking up early for my kids is a real struggle for me. I see it as my cross and it is a hard one to accept but nonetheless, I accept it. (Pssst. And I do know that if I set my alarm for 5am that the same thing would happen, just earlier. Believe me! I have tried it already!!!)
Do you know what I am talknig about or do you have children that actually SLEEP IN!?!?!?
Since my almost 2 yr old is whining and crying next to me right now "Want snack" which means breakfast, I have to go.
I have to fulfill God's Will.
I have to tend to my little ones.
I have to fulfill the responsibilities that were handed to me.
I have to trust and have faith and confidence that God will not give me anything that Him and I cannot handle together.
I have to pick up my cross and follow Him. NOW.
(With my coffee in hand, of course.)