Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Think happy thoughts

It is so easy to get caught up in the discipline and punishments and re-do-overs with 3 years olds, huh?  They are so very predictable but yet at the same time very unpredictable.

My certain 3 yr old has brought the 'terrible twos' and the 'trying threes' to a whole new level.  This little guy is easily the most challenging child so far.  He is all of my children COMBINED.  Seriously.

I am not asking for a pity party (well....if you want to give me one, I'll take it!:) ha haaa) but this is the real deal.  He is unbelievable.  I cannot turn my back on him.  I need to know exactly where he is at all times.   I am not kiddin' you.  You'd think I know a thing or 2 about parenting a strong willed child or one that is oh...a bit,uh...defiant.   Yeah, well I thought I knew a thing or 2 too...before he came along! haaa haaa

I bet you can only imagine how trying our school year has been for a year or 2.  Yeah, it has been interesting...oh yeah.

God sure has a sense of humor at times.

Anyway, Instead of mulling around on these negative "help me!" thoughts, I thought I'd pour out all the positive HAPPY THOUGHTS on this little 3 yr old guy of mine!

Here we go:

1.  I love the way he says "Da-Momma" and I automatically answer him! :) (or when he says "Ma-Daddy" and Daddy answers him!
2.  How he puts on his pants backwards and is so proud he did it himself
3.  The way he answers that he did not do it...with the look of guilt on his face, wondering if he be believed.
4.  I love what a shrimp he is.  He saves us on buying him new clothes!  He can still fit into some 18month and 2T clothes!
5.  I love how his smallness makes him so deliciously cute and his siblings all agree
6.  I love how he can win over his siblings by being so cute even when he messes up their stuff or wrecks their Lego creations (after a little while, that is...once the upsetness settles down!)
7.  I love how talkative and articulate he is.  He can converse with just about anyone
8.  I love how he really REALLY tries to be nice to his baby sister, Lil' Lady.  I know, as his Momma, that he truly is trying at times, even though others think otherwise.
9.  I love how he holds his pencils, markers and colored pencils with the correct grip and acts so much like a little student at the table while his older siblings do their work (even if only for 3.5 minutes!)
10. I love how he forces his giggles and laughter that makes others laugh and smile
11.  Lastly, I love how he still needs him Momma.  I wonder in amazement how other parents can send their children off to daycare or school at this age thinking that it is time for them to go, when they are still SO much in need of motherly love that ONLY a mother can give
NO ONE can replace a mother.  No one can love as a mother loves.  I am only saying this from my experience of having 7 kids and of my kids.  I know that some parents have no choice or do what they think it best for their family but I still wonder if there was still another way before choosing daycare.

Anyway, this kid is a riot.  He makes me laugh, he keeps me young, he keeps those pounds off since I am always up and about running after him or running for him!  He keeps teaching me patience and creativity and teaching me how to love unconditionally.  He is just right for our family.  He is loved and he loves matter how long this 2 or 3 yr old trying stage will last.  (Please Lord, not much longer, please!)

God bless your days,

Saturday, November 26, 2011

What do you think he said?

This morning, I had an early run to the food market to buy one of my little big people who is becoming a bigger person tomorrow items for his requested birthday oldest is turning 11! ('d that happen?!?!)

A special part of my kids' birthdays is that they get to request any birthday cake they want.  This year, my 'going to be 11' year old son has requested a really really chocolate-y mousse cake.  This is the first for this Momma.  Usually they ask for a train or a bear or the like.  The young man that he is turning into is requesting MOUSSE!  (Just like his Daddy-loves mousse!)

I never ever made mousse before but got a recipe...hopefully an EASY the Internet.  I did not have the ingredients so off I went shopping.

At the checkout line, a man that works there, who has a speech impediment with big metal front teeth, apparently thought I was someone else and said to me:

"I watched you walk in and I thought 'Wow!  Now, that is MY merchandise!"

At least that is what I thought he said but thinking that was a bit odd, I asked him again what he said and he said the same thing.  Then he went over to the cashier and told her that too.  He smiled, she smiled and both laughed a little and that was that.

I think I was hit on.  HA!  Don't you?  That sure is a lousy way to hit on someone if he was.  Then again, he could have told me something completely different but I swear that is what he said! ha ha!

I mean, c'mon-here I am :  sleepless, coffee breath, without any of my 7 children, wearing my wedding and engagement rings, (mind you...but then again I guess that does not matter to many people anymore...sad but true, huh?), wearing the best of junk clothes-jeans and sweatshirt, hair pulled back and.... whoops, dare I say breath, yeah...I forgot to brush my teeth!

HA!  But still....I think I was sorta kinda hit on!  Funny.  Very funny. 
Smiling is good therapy.

God bless your weekend,

Saturday, November 19, 2011


I just wanted to let you know that I am feeling a lot better both physically and emotionally.  It was a long tough week and we are so grateful to God for the gift of life He sent our way, even if it was only for 10 weeks.

Thank you for praying.  I cannot find the words to explain how uplifted and supported I felt during all of this through the praying of family & friends.  Thank you, thank you so much.

  Life is short, pray hard!

I entered our little Therese's name into the "Book of Life" at the Church of the Holy Innocents Shrine in NYC.  I vaguely remember going to it in my very early 20's and here is where our sweet Therese's name is where others can know of her short 10 week life and to pray to her.  It is so special.  They even sent me a certificate with her name on it.  (I wish I could figure out how to print it!  It is with some diff. format than what we have.)

Sometimes when it rains, it pours...doesn't it?

Not only was this week 'the week' for releasing our baby, but my oldest also fell on a super sharp rock and ended up with 5/6 stitches on his leg, then he ran a fairly high fever that we thought was associated w/the wound but thanks be to God, it was just a virus, then my husband had a sinus infection...and on and on and on.

And then on the forecast, it is calling for 5 straight days of RAIN-Mon-Fri.  Oh my goodness.  I do not look forward to that with 7 kids inside (4 of them boys!) but I am so happy that it is sunny right now and finally we are all feeling better.

The great news is that ....Tomorrow is our 12th Wedding Anniversary!!!

God bless,

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Therese & her Roses

You do know about St. Therese, right? 

(If not, that is a.o.k....but check out THIS link and you will find out! :)

"I will send from Heaven a shower of Roses."

And you do remember that we named our sweet little precious baby, Therese....right?

Ok, so here is the very COOL thing that happened yesterday...a friend who heard of our loss arrived at our home at 9:30am with...


(DO KNOW that She DID NOT KNOW we named our baby Therese or that we thought the baby to be a girl!)

YES!  Roses for Therese and from St. Therese (the little flower) and PINK for our baby GIRL!

I thought that was the greatest thing.  These things you cannot explain but believe through faith. 

Thank you for all this support and prayers...we are in need of them...thank you so much.

God bless,

Monday, November 7, 2011


I haven't been able to blog lately...not been able to focus on anything. 
I don't even know what to say.
I am so sad.
I am crying and in a daze most of the days, while everyone around me keeps moving on.

I told God that I could not let go of this baby.
Then I told God that now I can, that I believe it is His Will.

I went through all those different feelings of doubt, anger, sadness, emptiness...and I am still visiting them frequently.
I have never had a miscarriage before and I wonder how women deal with this?  How dare I not take it as seriously and be more compassionate to these dear families.  I really just never knew.
But now I do.

I feel so pregnant, still.
I have the jelly belly still.
I feel morning sickness, rather, for me, it is after 12noon till I fall asleep at night.
How can I feel so pregnant but not be?

I have shown some signs that the baby will be released soon.  This cramping is like a mini-labor but the end prize is not a happy one.  I told God that I am ready to let go.  But I am still waiting on Him.  This is so sad to wait for this to happen.  To know I am carrying a little one that I can never hold in my arms...but that God is allowing me to 'hold' a little longer till I am apart from her.

Yes, I said 'her'.

My children wanted to name her Therese Avila and so we did.  We have our own little patron saint from our family praying for us.  We have our own real flesh and blood in Heaven with God, Mary and all the Saints. 

She is much happier now than I could ever give her.

St. Therese Avila, pray for us.

God bless,

Friday, November 4, 2011


I am so sad to say that at our ultrasound appt this morning, the baby had no heartbeat.

It appears the baby was barely 6 weeks along even though I measured 8 weeks.

I have not 'officially' miscarried yet and never had one before.

If anyone has any support they can offer me, I welcome it.

Please pray for our strength and trust in God's Divine Will.

Thank you.

God bless,

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Let's get real...

Excuse my absence from this blog lately....I am feeling quite a bit discouraged over several things lately. 

Questions of whether I am doing the right thing of homeschooling my children right now at his time is overtaking my thoughts....wondering how I am able to continue on with feeling overwhelmed with life...realizing where my parenting is compared to where I want it to be and where God wants it to be.  Feeling alone even amidst a super homeschooling group.  Not having family and our dear friends around makes me so sad...and all their help is so needed and so missed.  It is just not the same help from other friends.  No one can replace family.

My spiritual journey has taken a bit of a dry-ness lately....I am fighting against the evil one on a daily basis.  I continue on praying and offering and trying.  But yet I do not see the fruits of what I am working so hard on with my family. 

I struggle with seeing my children as what they truly are...wonderful gifts from God.  Instead, I have failed in letting them know my immense love but letting them see my frustrations, my freak outs, my tender heart just hurting. 

My hope is peace in Christ Jesus is present, although not felt most of the time.  I am remembering that love is not a feeling but an act. 

With the constant bitterness felt during this battle going on, I humbly ask for prayers. This is not their problem or fault.  "This too shall pass"...this I know but loose sight of ever so easily.
Thank you.

God bless,