Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Let's get real...

Excuse my absence from this blog lately....I am feeling quite a bit discouraged over several things lately. 

Questions of whether I am doing the right thing of homeschooling my children right now at his time is overtaking my thoughts....wondering how I am able to continue on with feeling overwhelmed with life...realizing where my parenting is compared to where I want it to be and where God wants it to be.  Feeling alone even amidst a super homeschooling group.  Not having family and our dear friends around makes me so sad...and all their help is so needed and so missed.  It is just not the same help from other friends.  No one can replace family.

My spiritual journey has taken a bit of a dry-ness lately....I am fighting against the evil one on a daily basis.  I continue on praying and offering and trying.  But yet I do not see the fruits of what I am working so hard on with my family. 

I struggle with seeing my children as what they truly are...wonderful gifts from God.  Instead, I have failed in letting them know my immense love but letting them see my frustrations, my freak outs, my tender heart just hurting. 

My hope is there...my peace in Christ Jesus is present, although not felt most of the time.  I am remembering that love is not a feeling but an act. 

With the constant bitterness felt during this battle going on, I humbly ask for prayers. This is not their problem or fault.  "This too shall pass"...this I know but loose sight of ever so easily.
Thank you.

God bless,
Mary

3 comments:

Maurisa said...

Praying for you, Mary! Been there, too, more than once.

bobbi @ revolution of love said...

Thinking of you and praying for you, Mary.

Sam said...

Mary, you need a visit...stay strong and don't let the devil discourage you from the best vocation ever!!!