Friday, January 14, 2011

Letting Go and Letting God

Back to the docs I went today just to find out not much is new. 

I am still at all the same points as yesterday but today, I am much more at ease

Way more at ease.

Today while talking w/my sister, it occurred to me how ready I am to begin labor. I am at the brink!  I could not be any more ready physically to birth this little baby...but, what is holding me back?  The thing is that it is not God's timing, His perfect timing.  The baby is cozy and everything looks fantastic.  Why was I fretting?

So I have had a few nights of false labor (at least I did not end up at the hospital!) and even last night they were so strong that I thought for sure it might be real.  After about 2 hours and a little more of strong consistent contractions under 15 mins, and I mean strong enough that I had to bend over and could not talk---ya know, those real hard ones?... it all stopped.  I went to bed and had a decent sleep for what it is right now.  I guess I need my sleep more than ever now.

My body is ready and at the point of any moment kicking into high gear labor, yet I am at ease. 

B/c for some reason, God is not allowing it and I am okay with this.  I may think my body is ready, but maybe for some reason it is not and this, I am okay with.  Maybe my body and mind are not yet strong enough and I may end up getting a c-section or maybe I'd have major or even minor complications.  Only God knows and He is in charge. 

For whatever the reason may be, I am letting go and letting God.
I am not disappointed or frustrated as I was earlier in the week.
We have a nice long 3 day weekend and that gives me peace. 
No snow storms to be reckoned with===peace!

God bless,
I'll keep you posted!


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