Yesterday was a difficult day.
I cried tears for you, my sweet little one who was once inside me.
I would have been about 6 months along right now.
Instead I am empty.
I wonder if God will bless us again with a sweet baby.
I wait and wonder.
You would have been born in mid-June this summer. Oh, what a beautiful time of the year to have a baby. All that fresh air that you would get. But you never got the chance.
Some people say that you were just a "blob" of tissue or cells.
But we know that you are a perfect creation by God. You became you at the moment of conception. There will never be another you.
I wonder what you would have looked like. Would you have brown hair like biggest sister or light brown/blonde like your other big sister?
Spiritually, I know you are in Heaven, perfect happiness and contentment. That gives me peace.
But my human heart aches and my arms want to cradle you and sing you lullabies and tenderly kiss your sweet skin.
Your big sisters and big brothers all love you, and talk about you every day. Not a day goes by that we do not ask you to pray for us.
I know that you are at peace, you are perfect in Heaven, waiting and praying for us to get there too.
Don't ever stop praying for us, little one.
You are so dear to our hearts.
When others ask how many kids we have, I always say "Seven... and one in Heaven". I will never let anyone tell me that you were not a real baby.
My whole life changed when you were conceived.
Your Daddy and I were so happy and willingly accepted you as a gift straight from God.
Those many weeks of morning sickness were very real.
Those many tired days and weeks were for you. And I'd do it all over again, for you.
My love is so deep, even if we only got to spend 10 weeks together.
My life not only changed, but was enriched and forever different in the best possible way.
You, little one, had a mission that only lasted a short time. You have given us focus, once again, on Heaven and why we are here. This place is not our home. This is not our destination. We are journeying to a much better place. A place where we can be forever united once again.
I yearn to hold you once again. You are forever my baby and forever I'll be your Momma.
I love you and I miss you.
God bless you little one,