Cabin Fever in the Summer?

I always thought that cabin fever happened in the dreary, cold months of Jan-Feb-March. 

And it did. 

But it's also happening now.  Yikes!  In the summer?  How could that be???

You'd think it is summer and you'd think pool...but imagine no pool access (yet, maybe...we're waiting for the 1/2 off deal and possibly join, maybe...still praying on it.) and it being very HHH---Hazy Hot Humid...and no pool.

So, what to do when there is no pool in the summer with 7 young kids and being a pregnant Momma, besides going totally nuts and pulling your hair out????

Let's see....

• Lots of things break in the house.  Let's face it.  We are just that family that breaks things.   It's just who we are!  When a new toy comes in our presence, we wonder how long it will last.  In that essence, that is why we try really hard to buy things that are really well made and will (gasp! hopefully!) last some time around here!!!
• Lots of kids get hurt and have bandaids all over their boo-boo's.  Why?  B/c its too hot to play and run around outside for more than 20mins... so where is the next best place?  Of course---Inside the house!  Sure!  Just the place where there is plenty of opportunity to offer up boo-boo's. haaa haaa!!!
• Lots of creative and imaginative play goes on here.  Lots.  Stuff I could NEVER imagine up!!!  Love children's way of thinking-it's awesome!  I have had to let them just get the house messy to play and I've seen the fruits of letting 'kids be kids'.  Of course, there is always clean up that ALWAYS takes 2x longer!!!
• Lots of swinging on the hose hanging from our deck that is up 20 feet from the ground.  Yeah.  Imagine Tarzan.  That's right.  Tarzan. 
• Lots of time filling and re-filling our tiny little kiddie pool that the children play in daily.  Just think of 7 kids in one tiny pool.  Kinda hilarious but my kids are such good sports. 
• Lots of matchbox cars deep in dug out dirt ditches in front of our house.
• There's a bit more time for movies and even some youtube clips.  Like this one!

Lastly, there's a lot more of Momma laying on the couch feeling yucko and that equals a messier house, which also means lots of little extra hands are needed to help keep this boat afloat!  That is not very pleasant for them or me nagging them to do it.  We are all trying to hold off of the grudingly help and focus more on the generous help we are called to as we imitate our Lord Jesus and seek to serve Him in one another. :)  Not an easy task but anything that is hard is usually most worthwhile, right???

PREGNANCY UPDATE:  I am 11 1/2 weeks pregnant and feeling just like a pregnant Momma should feel!!! We are ever so grateful and so happy for this GIFT OF LIFE!!!  Thank you for praying for us-Thank you so much!!!

God bless,
Mary@Cheerios

Summer schedules and such

My posts will probably not be too regular during these summer months.  Not that I was ever that regular of a blogger! haaa :) 

Summer has begun and we are enjoying the not so high humidity for just a wee bit longer till it hits us hard, which is anytime now.  I have to make up a new schedule for the family.  Just as I imagined, life is a bit crazy when there are not limits and boundaries and set times for things.  We all like to relax but with many little kids and the temperaments/personalities of them all, we do much better with some structure, even during the summertime.  That being said, we also like down time and free time :)  It is a fine balance that I am trying to figure out.  At this point, I know a schedule will be helpful.  It was last summer that we took the pluge for a real heavy duty schedule.

My hubby signed up for a marathon!  I am so proud of him!  Once again, he is going to train for one and we hope he will not get injured such as last time-3 weeks before the marathon!  poor guy.  His goal is to do one before he turns 4-0!  He still has 2+ years so this will be great.  It was a family decision for sure, with lots of prayer.  It is a big family sacrifice for all of us. 

That leads me to  how I am trying to get back into the walking deal 3-4 times a week.  I would like to turn that walk into a run possibly but not sure if I have it in me again!  I have not run in over 12 years!  It would be fun to sign up for  some 5K's and get back into it b/c I did like it.  I wonder if I would like it again?  I am not very competitive but enjoy it to a certain degree-not to a marathon degree, though! haaa!!! :)  You see, I have this gut.  Not the pregnant kind of gut but that other gut! :P     Running seems to do the trick to get that extra weight off for me.  I have been asked multiple times by my children if I am pregnant and my hearts sinks.  We would have been due with our baby just around this time (due early June) and my heart is just a little sad.  Of course, we would love another baby and welcome one if God so chosen but for right now, we are not.  This is the longest ever between children.  My lil' lady is 16 1/2 months and is still such  a  love, but she sure does have a voice and wants to let her siblings know she wants to do things by herself!  :)  God knows that it is not good timing for His Will, that is for sure b/c we have some big decisions to make in the next 2 months. 

Big as in ....buying a house.  Where?  Which one?  When?  The questions are endless.  We have been praying so hard to figure out what is God's Will in this.  Ultimately, we will ONLY be happy to do what HE wants, not what we want or think is best.  So, we are yielding to His direction and praying hard.  We are looking for His inspirations and guidance.  There are many things that I do not like about this house (which I have posted about) and my greatest ultimate house would be a farm house on a big chunk of land filled with goats, chickens etc...  Funny how life changes and interests change, huh?  I NEVER would have wanted that years ago but here I am just dreaming about it.  And that's all.  Dreaming.  Currently, we are in no way close to any farm land or much of any land at all, and in a town so full of cars and people.  Trying hard to see God's hand in this comes hard at times.  But then I think of all the good things I like about this house and there are some big ones such as a wooded back yard, cul-de-sac, good neighbors that home school too!

If you remember, please add this intention to your prayers that we are content and secure in God's will of where we should live no matter where it is.  Thanks so much!

God bless,
Mary

Have you ever teared up or even broke down crying b/c you realized that you, as a Momma, have not loved your children the way they deserve simply b/c you could not do what you wanted to do and knew that would help but could not physcially do it b/c of the many demands of children? 

Have you ever cried so hard that your heart literally ached b/c you have not loved your children enough and it was in your power to do so but selfishly chose not to?

Have you ever?  Have you?

I come to you, in this post, and ask you to pray for me and for all mothers who feel this way. 

So heavy on my heart, these feelings, as I cling to the hope I have in Jesus Christ.  He is my rock.  He is my strength.  He is the One I turn to in hopes of mercy and grace.  He may be the only one to understand this power and deep love.  These thoughts can be quite overwhelming, yet I turn to the Cross.  In the Cross is where I can see the LOVE and the Forgiveness and the Hope.  It is only there that I can begin to understand the depth of sacrificial Love that He shed for me and how I am to LOVE those He gave to me to take care of. 

God bless,
Mary

Is it me?

or...do people just not get together much anymore? 

I have noticed over the past 4-5 years a decline in "play dates" and get togethers for not only mom and tots(which are the most popular) but also for arranging play dates for older kids too.  I also do not mean just the drop off play dates but the "mom comes along too so mom can have some adult interaction and adult talk" play dates.  It makes me wonder if the technology spree has taken over the relationships that people NEED.  We all need people and relationships in our lives, outside of our own family.  Especially the moms, right Moms?   I am tending to think that the Internet, texting, emails, twitter, face book, blogs, forums, IPhones, IPad's and whatever else is out there that I don't know about has taken the place of real live people.   I remember how weird it was when emails came about.  I still would rather talk on the phone than email someone about something. 

It saddens me that our society is okay with this and has let the real human relationship, the sense of community, go by the wayside.   

We (my family and I) are living in a very populated area and there are many very valid reasons to why other moms and kidos don't want to venture out.  Traffic, schooling, clubs/activities and certainly the stress, stress, stress that congestion brings.   Besides the traffic, this would be applicable to any other part of our country too.  Wouldn't you agree that if someone really wants to see another or get their kids together to play and moms to chat, that they would seek them out?  But I wonder if that desire is being fulfilled electronically.

At times, I feel like I have the plague or something!  I had this conversation with a dear friend that lives 8 hours away from me and she feels the same way.  It has to be this electronic world we are living in and not so much the actual location/state we live in.  I have noticed lots of moms feel this way, all in different parts of our country. 

I am not so keen on how this society and world is evolving.  It truly saddens me.

I don't mean to complain but it is something that has been heavy on my heart lately and wanted to share.  I am not sure even how to deal with it or try to change it or if it is possible to change it.  How do I go along with this and enjoy the ride when I feel like I missed the boat?

God bless,
Mary

I can never read this enough times

A mortification in the morning

St. Josemaría Escrivá, the Father and Founder of Opus Dei, tells us:

“The heroic minute. It is the time fixed for getting up. Without hesitation: a supernatural reflection and ... up! The heroic minute: here you have a mortification that strengthens your will and does no harm to your body. If, with God’s help, you conquer yourself, you will be well ahead for the rest of the day. It’s so discouraging to find oneself beaten at the first skirmish.” (cf. The Way 206)

Hope you all have a wonderful day glorifying  God with your life!

God bless,
Mary

I am crying

Have you every just cried b/c you are sick of saying...

"Because I said so, that's why." 
"Stay in room till I let you out." 
"Stop fighting and bickering!" 
"If you fight about it, away it goes." 
"Sit down and do your work!"
"Who made this mess?  Please clean it up!"
"Stop teasing your brother.  Now, go in the corner and stay there till you are quiet and I tell you to come out!"
"Why are you waiting for me?  You can do this yourself."  
"Get inside and finish up your school work then you can play outside!"
and on and on and on.

I am so tired.  Maybe b/c my sleeping, or lack there of I guess, and just burnt out. 

The morale is low around here as the weather is getting warmer and nicer to stay outside and away from the books.

Earlier in the week I made a new chart for the countdown of our last days of school and the LAST DAY OF SCHOOL.  We all need a light at the end of this tunnel.  Our family does take some time off away from sit down and focus school work during the summer, but it does not last too long since my kids thrive on schedules.  But it sure is fun to just let go and bop around for a while.

My heart aches b/c I want to make the most of the days, with my focus on not having any regrets and doing God's will for our family.  Trying to make each moment count, and last.  But I also struggle to 'be in the moment' too and not an on-looker. 

But yet instead my thoughts are to get through this school subject so we can be over and done with it.  Get through that so that it will be done and we can do something fun, more enjoyable.  Get through this hour so we are closer to nap time so I can rest.  This survival mode is not my innermost desire to spend my days!!! 

Why, oh why can't I see the visible in front of me as these moments?  Why am I searching for clearer focus on finding these moments when they are RIGHT HERE?

So, I cry.  I tear up b/c my wants conflict with my reality of life.  But, maybe this reality is what I should want and truly what I need.  God is the One making my days and who am I to ridicule and be upset with how these days are turning out.  Sometimes I sound like a bit of a hypocrite as I say that I want to do God's Will and I strive to do it, yet I am not content with it.   For that, my friends, I am sorry.  Please forgive me.

I am a sinner and a work in progress....a saint in the making.  I am not in Heaven yet so I am going to keep trying at this.  I am not giving up.

God bless your day and your way of holiness!
Mary

Goal for today

to speak words of encouragement.

It goes a long way.  Helping my children to see their potential....and how awesome they are right now.  Last  night I had a little talk w/my older boys.  I told them how much I love them no matter what.  Even if they do not do their chores on their own or when they are asked for the 100th time....even if they do not do well on a test....even if they are not being obedient with school work. 

It does not matter.  My love for them is not dependent on those outcomes.  My love is strong for them and will not waiver.  

I love them for them.  Simply that.

Then, if I always have, did they not know this?  What have I done or not done to make them not aware of this? 

So, my goal is to make my words count.  Make my actions count.  Make it equal to my love for them. 

Today will be different.

By the way, this goes for ALL my kids.

God bless,
Mary

Not ticked off....just Laugh a little

I've been having a few of those "Oh, wow, God has truly blessed me with all these kidos" moments.  Those moments that sometimes would drive me nuts but instead, I stop, breathe and revel in it and laugh a little to myself and thank the Almighty for all my 7 (+1) gifts.

He has always blessed me with these moments...but I failed to see them.

Thanks to God, I have a good vision of them lately.  Sick kids and all. 

One of those times happened this morning.

Last night, during our Family Rosary and prayers, my baby girl ~ Lil' Lady was being a bit loud.  (Yeah, how dare she?  haaa) so I gave her my watch.  That lasted 0.8 sec and then it was lost.

Let me tell you, that my watch is like someones planner that they can't live without.

No biggie, I thought.  I'd search for it after they all went to sleep.

Sure enough I did and then it turned into a cleaning fest!  (Lucky for my husband woke to a clean living room!)

Nowhere to be found!

Went to sleep without it, knowing I'd be up for a # of times. 9 to be exact.  Kids sick. 

Kids sick +7 kids=no sleep 

I always check my watch when a kido wakes...it's a habit.  I know, it's odd. 
Anyway, I had no watch.

That was a bit frustrating! 

This morning, as I am making pancakes and baby and I are up....kids sleeping and hubby at Holy Hour...I HEARD IT!

YES!  I had set an alarm for 7am!!! 

I ran around the room, knowing that alarm only lasts a short time and found it as an ornament on my Christmas tree.

Usually, I'd be annoyed.  A bit ticked off.  It would have got me a bit on edge.

Not today.   I smiled.  I laughed.  I put it on.

Thank You God for helping me see the joy.  It hasn't been around for a while. 

Joy?   Please visit again and I hope you stay.

(I think I know why, too.  That, my friends, is for another post.  A heart wrenching post.)

Till next time....God bless,
Mary

Joy- 'Tis Thursday!

How did that happen?

Funny how during these past 3 days, they went really really slow... and I was wondering how I was able to make it through the next 30 minutes type of slow.  You know what I mean, right?

My parents are coming in from out of state later today and that makes me so very happy ;)  I am dying to have a few extra hands around here.  It's been a bit tough lately.  And it is comforting to know it is not just me.  Not that I want others to feel in a puddle of tears like me....but it is comfort.

Joy.

Last Sunday was Guadete Sunday and pink and rose third candle ...and joy.  JOY!  Guadete means REJOICE in Latin.


Joy has been missing a bit from my motherly loving lately.  (so not proud of this)

You too? 

How could that be since it is Advent?  We are preparing for the birth of a baby, a very important baby and our priests have said at Masses lately, how does one prepare?  Surely not in darkness and black and sadness.  But quite the opposite with lots of baby showers and well wishes and joy and pink or blue or yellow dazzled around the house and nursery. 

Finding the joy in anticipation of The Baby's birth (once again in our hearts...how will it be different this year for me, for you?)

This year I decided that I would not wait to put up my Christmas tree and decorations till Christmas Eve.  We had our bit of penitential season not too long ago and I was ready to instill joy once again.

Yet it is not happening as quick as I'd like it.  All in God's timing...His timing is always right.  Right?

So, joy it is.  The Bible states lots of joyful verses.  Here are a few that came to mind:

Philippians 4:8:

Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.

"Be joyful always"1 Thessalonians 5:16

"The prospect of the righteous is joy, but the hopes of the wicked come to nothing." Proverbs 10:28

"A cheerful look brings joy to the heart, and good news gives health to the bones." Proverbs 15:30

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds " James 1:2

"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." Romans 12:12

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13

Joy.

Joy is a fruit of the Holy Spirit. 

Got Joy?

(like that logo 'Got Milk?'")

God bless,
Mary

My day full of Blessings

Today was a day full of a mix of feelings and emotions.

It was (is) my husband's birthday.  Happy Birthday to you!  I am so happy to be a part of your life and so thankful that God blessed me with you and the fruit of our love....our 8 beautiful children.  You truly are my helper, my true companion on this journey of life heading for our final destination.  Your life blesses me and I thank God for that.  Happy Birthday!

It is also my oldest sons' Baptism day...11 yrs ago!  Happy Baptism day!!!

Lastly, this morning, we added yet another memorable experience....

We buried Therese's remains.

It was harder than I thought it would be.  You see, I had hoped with all my heart that I could go through this miscarriage naturally, not needing a D&C, unless I absolutely needed one.  God granted me this prayer request and I did naturally.  It was much more than just a 'bad period' as some say.  Way more.  In fact, these past 3 weeks have been very tough on me emotionally, physically and spiritually. 

I was a wreck thinking of how and where I would put my baby's remains and what to do with them.  It really concerned me and upset me.  I thought about going to a Michael's store and buy a sweet little box that we could decorate somehow, to make it very personal to our family.  I had visions of my children all helping out and making it a family affair.   But, I thought time was not on my side.  I hate to say that.  How could I NOT make time for this important ordeal?  I realized afterwards that time was not really the issue, it was more about investing even more of me and more of my kids, more of my heart into this child that was mine for 10 weeks.  I was so sore, physically but my heart was what ached and is aching even more.  I ache to hold my child more.  I asked God "why?" and sure, I was a bit upset at God.  But thankfully, that did not last long.  I have some days when life just unravels and then I think of Therese or see something that would remind me of her and the tears would drop a little here and a little there, sometimes even turning into a flowing river!  This grief is not over, it is better, but not over yet. 

About 2 days before I had the actual miscarriage-the major part of it- in one day and has continued to linger on, it occurred to me that I have had this most beautiful box that was engraved with gold flowers and vines on the top.

It reminds me of Psalm 128:3:

"Your wife should be like a fruitful vine within your house,

your children like olive plants around your table."

It could be considered a sweet keepsake box.  It is red velvet inside and made of the best solid wood.  That would be it!  I was so relieved to know that I already had this tiny little coffin already in my own room, in my drawers, for the past 3 or 4 years.  Could it be that God has this all planned?  That is my belief.  He knew way before I did that that teeny tiny box would be something special.  In fact, it was given to me and I did not know what to use it for so I put in these really tiny saint statues in it so that they would be secure and not break.   Little did I know that our sweet teeny tiny Therese would be our real live Saint in there now.

The wonderful priest said some beautiful prayers as I held out the box near my husband and our children huddled around us.  I did not show or tell the children that this box carried their baby sister's remains until afterward.  I thought it to be too much of a distraction with so many questions and maybe that was not the right thing to do but I thought so at the time.  I was so caught up in holding my child for the last time, that at the time that I had to hand over this tiny wooden coffin to Father, that it was one of the hardest things I ever had to do...to really let go of my baby.  My eyes filled up with tears.  My husband noticed my pain, my sorrow...some of my children did as well.

It was closure.  It was over.  It is finished. 

Our little Saint Therese Avila, pray for your family here on earth to be holy and get to Heaven to finally meet you, God, Mary and all our patron Saints and Guardian Angels.  We love you!

God bless,
Mary

Think happy thoughts

It is so easy to get caught up in the discipline and punishments and re-do-overs with 3 years olds, huh?  They are so very predictable but yet at the same time very unpredictable.

My certain 3 yr old has brought the 'terrible twos' and the 'trying threes' to a whole new level.  This little guy is easily the most challenging child so far.  He is all of my children COMBINED.  Seriously.

I am not asking for a pity party (well....if you want to give me one, I'll take it!:) ha haaa) but this is the real deal.  He is unbelievable.  I cannot turn my back on him.  I need to know exactly where he is at all times.   I am not kiddin' you.  You'd think I know a thing or 2 about parenting a strong willed child or one that is oh...a bit,uh...defiant.   Yeah, well I thought I knew a thing or 2 too...before he came along! haaa haaa

I bet you can only imagine how trying our school year has been for a year or 2.  Yeah, it has been interesting...oh yeah.

God sure has a sense of humor at times.

Anyway, Instead of mulling around on these negative "help me!" thoughts, I thought I'd pour out all the positive HAPPY THOUGHTS on this little 3 yr old guy of mine!

Here we go:

1.  I love the way he says "Da-Momma" and I automatically answer him! :) (or when he says "Ma-Daddy" and Daddy answers him!
2.  How he puts on his pants backwards and is so proud he did it himself
3.  The way he answers that he did not do it...with the look of guilt on his face, wondering if he be believed.
4.  I love what a shrimp he is.  He saves us on buying him new clothes!  He can still fit into some 18month and 2T clothes!
5.  I love how his smallness makes him so deliciously cute and his siblings all agree
6.  I love how he can win over his siblings by being so cute even when he messes up their stuff or wrecks their Lego creations (after a little while, that is...once the upsetness settles down!)
7.  I love how talkative and articulate he is.  He can converse with just about anyone
8.  I love how he really REALLY tries to be nice to his baby sister, Lil' Lady.  I know, as his Momma, that he truly is trying at times, even though others think otherwise.
9.  I love how he holds his pencils, markers and colored pencils with the correct grip and acts so much like a little student at the table while his older siblings do their work (even if only for 3.5 minutes!)
10. I love how he forces his giggles and laughter that makes others laugh and smile
11.  Lastly, I love how he still needs him Momma.  I wonder in amazement how other parents can send their children off to daycare or school at this age thinking that it is time for them to go, when they are still SO much in need of motherly love that ONLY a mother can give. 
NO ONE can replace a mother.  No one can love as a mother loves.  I am only saying this from my experience of having 7 kids and of my kids.  I know that some parents have no choice or do what they think it best for their family but I still wonder if there was still another way before choosing daycare.

Anyway, this kid is a riot.  He makes me laugh, he keeps me young, he keeps those pounds off since I am always up and about running after him or running for him!  He keeps teaching me patience and creativity and teaching me how to love unconditionally.  He is just right for our family.  He is loved and he loves us....no matter how long this 2 or 3 yr old trying stage will last.  (Please Lord, not much longer, please!)

God bless your days,
Mary

What do you think he said?

This morning, I had an early run to the food market to buy one of my little big people who is becoming a bigger person tomorrow items for his requested birthday cake...my oldest is turning 11! (wow...how'd that happen?!?!)

A special part of my kids' birthdays is that they get to request any birthday cake they want.  This year, my 'going to be 11' year old son has requested a really really chocolate-y mousse cake.  This is the first for this Momma.  Usually they ask for a train or a bear or the like.  The young man that he is turning into is requesting MOUSSE!  (Just like his Daddy-loves mousse!)

I never ever made mousse before but got a recipe...hopefully an EASY recipe....off the Internet.  I did not have the ingredients so off I went shopping.

At the checkout line, a man that works there, who has a speech impediment with big metal front teeth, apparently thought I was someone else and said to me:

"I watched you walk in and I thought 'Wow!  Now, that is MY merchandise!"

At least that is what I thought he said but thinking that was a bit odd, I asked him again what he said and he said the same thing.  Then he went over to the cashier and told her that too.  He smiled, she smiled and both laughed a little and that was that.

I think I was hit on.  HA!  Don't you?  That sure is a lousy way to hit on someone if he was.  Then again, he could have told me something completely different but I swear that is what he said! ha ha!

I mean, c'mon-here I am :  sleepless, coffee breath, without any of my 7 children, wearing my wedding and engagement rings, (mind you...but then again I guess that does not matter to many people anymore...sad but true, huh?), wearing the best of junk clothes-jeans and sweatshirt, hair pulled back and.... whoops, dare I say again..coffee breath, yeah...I forgot to brush my teeth!

HA!  But still....I think I was sorta kinda hit on!  Funny.  Very funny. 
Smiling is good therapy.

God bless your weekend,
Mary
p.s  HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

Miscarriage

I haven't been able to blog lately...not been able to focus on anything. 
I don't even know what to say.
I am so sad.
I am crying and in a daze most of the days, while everyone around me keeps moving on.

I told God that I could not let go of this baby.
Then I told God that now I can, that I believe it is His Will.

I went through all those different feelings of doubt, anger, sadness, emptiness...and I am still visiting them frequently.
I have never had a miscarriage before and I wonder how women deal with this?  How dare I not take it as seriously and be more compassionate to these dear families.  I really just never knew.
But now I do.

I feel so pregnant, still.
I have the jelly belly still.
I feel morning sickness, rather, for me, it is after 12noon till I fall asleep at night.
How can I feel so pregnant but not be?

I have shown some signs that the baby will be released soon.  This cramping is like a mini-labor but the end prize is not a happy one.  I told God that I am ready to let go.  But I am still waiting on Him.  This is so sad to wait for this to happen.  To know I am carrying a little one that I can never hold in my arms...but that God is allowing me to 'hold' a little longer till I am apart from her.

Yes, I said 'her'.

My children wanted to name her Therese Avila and so we did.  We have our own little patron saint from our family praying for us.  We have our own real flesh and blood in Heaven with God, Mary and all the Saints. 

She is much happier now than I could ever give her.

St. Therese Avila, pray for us.

God bless,
Mary

Sad.............

I am so sad to say that at our ultrasound appt this morning, the baby had no heartbeat.

It appears the baby was barely 6 weeks along even though I measured 8 weeks.

I have not 'officially' miscarried yet and never had one before.

If anyone has any support they can offer me, I welcome it.

Please pray for our strength and trust in God's Divine Will.

Thank you.

God bless,
Mary

Let's get real...

Excuse my absence from this blog lately....I am feeling quite a bit discouraged over several things lately. 

Questions of whether I am doing the right thing of homeschooling my children right now at his time is overtaking my thoughts....wondering how I am able to continue on with feeling overwhelmed with life...realizing where my parenting is compared to where I want it to be and where God wants it to be.  Feeling alone even amidst a super homeschooling group.  Not having family and our dear friends around makes me so sad...and all their help is so needed and so missed.  It is just not the same help from other friends.  No one can replace family.

My spiritual journey has taken a bit of a dry-ness lately....I am fighting against the evil one on a daily basis.  I continue on praying and offering and trying.  But yet I do not see the fruits of what I am working so hard on with my family. 

I struggle with seeing my children as what they truly are...wonderful gifts from God.  Instead, I have failed in letting them know my immense love but letting them see my frustrations, my freak outs, my tender heart just hurting. 

My hope is there...my peace in Christ Jesus is present, although not felt most of the time.  I am remembering that love is not a feeling but an act. 

With the constant bitterness felt during this battle going on, I humbly ask for prayers. This is not their problem or fault.  "This too shall pass"...this I know but loose sight of ever so easily.
Thank you.

God bless,
Mary

Joys of Motherhood

Last night, as I was tucking my girls into bed, one of them declared that they wanted to be a 'Mommy'. 

"How sweet!",  I thought.

She proceeded on to tell me that she wanted to be one "at this very moment!"

...so that she could have a big bowl of ice cream!  And my other daughter said "Yeah! and a smoothie anytime I want one!"

HA!! HA!!!
The joys of motherhood!!! :)

God bless,
Mary

10 yrs post 9-11

For the sake of His sorrowful passion,
have mercy on us and on the whole world.

So many other blogs and people and homilies have so much to say about this 10 year anniversary.  I, too, have memories way too vivid ...still. 
I can't seem to wrap up my thoughts on this day, enough to put it on this post.
It's just too much to say, too many feelings, not enough computer time to do it.

May we all remember this day and pray for the lives lost
and the families and friends who mourn them. 

Have mercy on us and on the whole world.

God bless,
Mary

Moms of boys should never boast

Seasoned Moms just know things...

I think I may just be starting to be one!!! :)

A minute ago, my 4 yr old son came upstairs asking for duct tape that my oldest son needed to tape up a box.  (All 4 boys were downstairs.)

I ripped off 2 feet long of duct tape and handed it to him.

But as I handed it to him...I asked, a bit cautiously, "No one is in that box...right?"

"No, Mom, no one is in it."

Phew.  Good.

See?  I NEVER would have thought to ask that question a few years ago.  Then again, I did not have 4 ACTIVE and CREATIVE BOYS either back then either! haa haa

Life is full of lessons!
_________________________________________________________________________________
God is always teaching me things. 

OKAY, did I mention I have BOYS?!?! HA!!! HA!!!
I was just about to post this above and then my oldest son ran up asking for more duct tape and told me with great excitement that he was boxing up the 2 yr old boy but that he also put in '2 breathing holes so don't get worry, Mom".  (WHAT?!!?!)

I guess I may never understand boys and that they will ALWAYS have something brewing that will make me shake my head, wrinkle my forehead in disbelief.  Boys!!! :)  Gotta love them.

Gd bless,
Mary

Faithfulness

"God is so faithful."

Those words are echoing in my heart this morning.  About 2 months ago, I added in walking to our family schedule.  What a joy this has been.  It has also its share of trials, as I am not a morning person (have I ever mentioned that?!?!? haa haaa!!!).  Overall it is a real blessing. 

God is faithful.

Fresh air. 

Birds singing. 

Time for me to soften my many thoughts and worries and place myself at ease.  I envisioned myself walking with rosary in hand, praying devoutly.  But I realized very quickly that my early morning walking is me just trying to wake up!!! :)  I sort am in a haze for the first 10 mins.  THen the next 10 mins are pretty good and I am awake to tackle the day, kids at the door and husband awaiting my return. 

God is faithful.

A great early 20 mins of my day. 

Lately my neighbor has joined me.  A God-fearing- Bible talking- Jesus loving -Southern Christian homeschooling mom.  Yes, that is right-another homeschooling mom!  She has 6 children of her own-much more spaced out than mine, but lovely just the same.  What delight to have someone to walk with!!!  I am so thankful.  My wish of accountability of getting some exercise has come finally.

God is faithful. 

It is not everyday that we walk together, only 2 or 3 times a week.  I enjoy it so much.

My hopes is have this walking and talking time to be a time of honoring God.  Not a time for complaints, although it is very hard not to fall into that trap.  Here is another Mom with many kids who homeschools and is a neighbor of mine and understands this lifestyle?  Wow.

Today she reminded me of spending time "in the Word" and  she repeated to me that God is so faithful.  No doubt that God used her to get His point across.

God is faithful.  Yes, He is. God is faithful.

God bless,
Mary

St. Monica, pray for us!

St. Monica, pray for us!

My oldest and I were able to get to daily Mass this morning and what a glorious day to go!!!  The feast of St. Monica-yet another one of my all time favorite Saints.  We also have a little girl having a name day too today!!! :)  Her middle name, but nonetheless wonderful! 

My children like learning about this Saint and how she had such virtue of perseverance in praying for YEARS AND YEARS for her husband (who was full of such temper and violent) and her wayward son (you may know as St. Augustine!: )  Yes, her terrible son turned Saint ~her son!!!

Her life gives mothers such hope! 

Thank you St. Monica for never giving up, for living a life of joy in the midst of turmoil.

Thank you for praying for us, mothers. 

Help us to do all for the Glory of God~ remind us to live a life of selflessness and of great love,

being the heart of our home.

God bless,
Mary