I'm a bad mom

I'm such a bad mom.

Not really, but I sure feel like it.

My 20 month old has decided to chew off the nipple part of his favorite thing ever...his pacifiers!  Mind you, they are his special and very important tag alongs to fall asleep.  One in mouth, and one in EACH hand...with a few extra strewn in his crib.

It happened once on Monday and I talked w/him about it.  Does that sound weird that I would just 'talk' with a 20 month old about it?  But you have to know my little guy to understand.  He is very social.  He truly understands and can talk with you, most of the time.  It's very cute and very funny to see him interact.  He knows he needs to say what needs to be said.  I hope this will pay off with those 'terrific twos and threes' with less tantrums...we'll see.  I sure do hope so.

Anyways, I told him if he did it again that those pacifiers would be gone, no more.  He'd have to say bye bye to them.  In the trash they'd go.

I thought he would stick to his guns and hold back his desire to chew.  Day 1,2,3 were good and then it happened again!  This morning at rest time.  I hated to do it but there is noway that I can allow him to have them.  He could get a big chunk of it and choke. He could get a little bit off and choke.  Choke! 

So, I did what any other 'bad' Mom would do.  He had to say goodbye to good to his little sucker pals. 

And now he is crying.  Crying loudly and madly. 

Before I put him to sleep, I spoke with his roommate, the 6 yr old big brother about this situation.  I told him not to mention anything about pacifiers, nor say that word, no matter how much crying he will do tonight.  I told him that he cannot look at him or do anything but lay there and be quiet.   He agreed and I love him for this.  How tough it is to be only 3 feet from a baby crib where you know he will be upset.  He has been staying strong for 20 minutes so far.  I wonder what he is thinking as he lay there still...

Also before I put him to sleep, my 3 yr old gave him one of his own beloved 'nigh-nighs'--his blankets.  He has 3 so what is one less?  I think it is quite awesome for him to do that.  Don't you?  My 20 month old loved the idea too, snuggling and holding it tightly, with smiles and sweet little giggles. 

And I thought it was golden.  Smooth sailing.

Till I put him down to sleep.  Now he is just crying and screaming and crying some more and screaming some more. 

What else can I do?  You'd think I was a pro at this.  But I'll tell you, with 6 kids, only 2 were pacifier babies and that includes this 20 month old.  I could use some advice, if you can spare an idea. 

But for now, it looks like it will be a rough 3 or 4 nights ahead of us all.  Poor lil guy, first we move and now no pacifiers.  Hard life.

God bless,
Mary